New age millennium women have discovered that there are some things that are just not tolerable/enjoyable in a man over the age of thirty. These women are looking for more in a man. This is what they are thinking:
1. You Still Stay at Home with your Momma.
Sometimes there can be reasons for living at home with your Momma when you’re over the age of thirty, such as caring for your aging parent or taking a breath while you get back on your feet, but if none of these explanations apply, then a grown man should be well-established in his own flat/unit/apartment/loft/house/territory by now. If not, you’d better start looking for something straight away.
2. You Don’t Have a Bank Account.
So, why don’t you have a bank account? It’s because you don’t trust banks? There are other financial institutions, you know, ones that don’t charge a high account-keeping fee. Maybe you could find one of these? Adults take care of their finances; keeping your hard-earned dollars in a Crown Royal bag in your sock drawer is not a sane thing to do and neither owns a Rush Card. It’s time to grow up and put your money somewhere safe. Somewhere where the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation can insure it. Get it?
3. Not Being Knowledgeable of Appropriate Formal Wear.
The issue about how to dress for a formal occasion is non-negotiable. You cannot wear jeans or your favorite Trues to the Opera, Alvin Bailey’s latest production, or a night at the Joffrey Ballet. You’ve got to step it up and learn how to dress when we’re going out somewhere special. Neck size, inseam, sleeve length, a sophisticated man knows about these things. If you don’t know about them yet, check out GQ magazine for their how-to articles, or get down to Brooks Brother during their holiday sales. I want to see you dressed up and looking good!
4. You Have no Concept of a Fine Restaurant.
You have no idea of how to make a good impression on a woman. Don’t you know that women like to be wined and dined sometimes? No, Red Lobster, Grand Luxe Café and the Cheesecake Factory are not fine restaurants. You may also need to make an impression in a business meeting and you don’t know how. Have you ever been to an establishment that serves seven course meals, has a wine cellar and lists of fresh seafood? Do you know how to eat seafood or how to pour a vintage wine? You’ve got to smarten up and learn about these things, because I am a woman who deserves the best. By the way, there are some divine restaurants in our town … Topolobampo and Spiaggia just for starters …
5. You don’t Know How to Pick out a Good Wine.
This point is linked to the last one. I need someone who can show a bit of savoir faire. I am a connoisseur of fine wines myself (at least I’d like to be.) and you don’t even know the differences between red wines and white wines. What’s the matter with you? Don’t you know that most grown-ups are well versed in wine selection? The whole issue of wine and wines is dear to my heart, you don’t have to be a professional sommelier, but you could at least learn something about wine. No, pink Moscato is not a fine wine; it’s a cheap beverage for floozies!
6. You Don’t Know How to Actually “Court” a Woman.
No, Netflix and Chill is not an acceptable First Date, that’s for later when we know each other a bit better and then it might seem like fun. Don’t you know how to treat a woman well, make her feel special? Try the Old-School approach; no, this isn’t the Victorian ages. Be nice, be charming, be thoughtful. Try to please me and make me feel that you care. Snap Chat, cheeky comments on Facebook, that doesn’t impress a woman. Why? Because it’s obnoxious and lacking in taste. No, this isn’t the Rules, I’m asking you to show me some respect, and show me that you think I’m worth something to you. You should know how to interact with a woman by now, how to converse and hold her interest. If not, you better go back home to your Momma.
7. You’re Still Using the Excuse That You Don’t Know How to Commit.
You don’t know how to commit, or you don’t want to? You cannot go out with more than one woman at once, at least not if they know what you’re up to. I’m not going to wait around for you to make up your mind. If you don’t know who you really want, you’re not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. You’ve got to want to commit to someone, I can’t tell you how or when to do that. It’s your choice all the way. If you’re still making up your mind if you want to stay with one of those four other women, I’m leaving now … I cannot make up your mind for you.
8. You Have NO Ambition, Life Plan or Structured Work Ethic.
Having a job does not mean you have a Life Plan. You need to put some thought into this. Where do you want to go in Life? Do you want children, travel, a big career? You can’t just be an employee. Is that all you want out of life? How about creating a few goals, some things you would look forward to doing? All men with good self-esteem have some ideas about what they want. Think about that and think about what steps you need to take. I want to help you if I can, because that’s what partnerships are all about. If we both know what we want, we can help each other to achieve it. Come on, be consistent, and be constructive. I have a whole life to live and I’m not keeping someone who’s not worth keeping.